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Don't Should On Yourself

1/20/2016

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BY: MEGAN DRAKE
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Do you have a word that haunts you? A word that circles around your mind that you can’t seem to get rid of?  I do. This word pops up in my head at the most random of times, all the time. When I am relaxing, having fun, working, writing, exercising.

All. The. Time.

Should. 

This is the word that haunts me. That tells me I am not enough where I am. The word that not only beckons for more, but demands more.

Why does this word have so much power over me?

I should look harder for a job.
I should workout more.
I should make my resume more kick ass.
I should make my quiet time with God longer.
I should be thinner.
I should be married by now. If not, I should be doing something exciting.
I should enjoy singleness.
I should be more content.
I should write more.
I should dance more often and sing loudly.
I should be more carefree.
I should enjoy unemployment.                                                                                                             I should read instead of watching The Bachelor.

Should steals something from me. It keeps me from being present and engaged in the moment. It steals my wholeness, makes me believe that who I am right now is not enough.
Should is a lie. Should comes into your life and destroys the time spent in the present. It destroys jamming out to T-Swift and J Biebs. It destroys putting the talents God has given you to work. It makes you believe you ought to be doing something other than what you are doing.

The truth is, I am enough. You are enough. And some days are to be productive, run 3 miles and get work done, others are for fun-tivities like dancing in the kitchen and watching football all Sunday. But wherever you are, be fully you. Don’t let should dictate who you are to be.

I want to stop should-ing on myself so much. To give myself a break and allow myself to embrace who I am and not allow this word to tell how I spend my days, how I spend my life.
​
Don’t feel guilty for being you. Don’t give into the pressure to change who you are. Don’t should on yourself.
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Looking Ahead

1/15/2016

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BY: JORDYN FERRARO
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“When you pass through the waters”
 Deep the waves may be and cold,
But Jehovah is our refuge,
 And His promise is our hold;
For the Lord Himself has said it,
He, the faithful God and true:
“When you come to the waters
You will not go down, but through.”
Sea of sorrow, sea of trial,
Bitter anguish, fiercest pain,
Rolling surges of temptation
Sweeping over heart and brain –
They will never overflow us
For we know His word is true;
All His waves and all His billows
He will lead us safely through.
Threatening breakers of destruction,
Doubt’s insidious undertow,
Will not sink us, will not drag us
Out to ocean depths of woe;
For His promise will sustain us,
Praise the Lord, whose Word is true!
We will not go down, or under,
For He says, “You will pass through.”
 – Annie Johnson Flint
Reading a new devotional book “Streams in the Desert“, I came across this Annie Johnson Flint poem, & it immediately struck a cord with me.

If you’ve read Megan’s latest post, you’ll learn what this season is about – unemployment, moving home, transitioning away from Ireland, and most of all, learning to be content in the mess. And I couldn’t agree more. It’s a huge season of unknowns, a desert season where it can be a whole lot easier to look at the barren land than to trust in the Living Water.

For me, moving home for me started out to be much easier than I ever anticipated. The only way I can make sense of it all is that the Lord was answering many, many prayers about this move. I was able to approach the holidays joyfully, being filled with family time, movies, lots of food, and catching up with friends. I couldn’t have asked for more.
But now, as life settles in and the traveling around slows down, I’m beginning to see how quickly this season is going to be a desert.

I’m far too much a figure-it-out kind of girl. I like to keep moving and when the Lord reminds you to be still, it makes for some anxious moments, some bended knee prayers, and learning (over & over & over again) to trust in the Lord who said

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you” Isaiah 43:2

                                                                       and

“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent” Exodus 14:14

Whether trials come from the smallest things like motivation to write a cover letter or wondering how financially you’ll make it through the month – big or small – God is greater. We will not sink, we will not reach the ocean floor because our God is a Father who will not let His children go under, but instead lead us straight on through.

So while the desert may feel long and the ocean may feel wide, the moment you step forth in His Word & resting in His Truth, the distance won’t seem so paralyzing. The hurry and the anxiety to figure it out becomes a peaceful journey – a journey where hardships produce character and lead to a life that may not be safe & comfortable, but that’s filled with far more adventures than you can possibly imagine.

I’ve been in need of this reminder the last few weeks, remembering The Lord will open every path as we come to them. Anyone who has been through the job hunt can probably agree with me here, it sucks. So instead of sitting in how much I dislike it, I trying to take this to be a daily lesson, a reminder in the moments of ‘how’ or ‘what if’s’. A reminder at the start of every morning, after every rejection email, & every application sent out – that God is faithful. That the unknowns to us are fully known to Him. And instead of fighting against it, I’m learning what it means to be content in every situation – to trust in His will with open hands, even when it looks differently than I’d imagine. Because, ultimately, every desire & every hope is safest with Him anyways. Most of all, my prayer is for us all to remember that even when the desert has no end in sight, or the oceans rising seems unbearable, we will not go down, but through.
​

I may not have answers (who am I kidding, I definitely don’t have any answers right now),  and I may have desires greater than what a 9-5 job looks like, but I also believe there is excitement in this season. There is a renewed joy in trusting the Lord with the finest of details, in stepping out of the boat & into the storm with eyes locked on Him. So, let’s keep embracing this mess. Let’s keep looking ahead to the open desert and know that out there, the Lord’s stream is flowing, we only have to keep walking.
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Dry Shampoo Days

1/5/2016

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BY: MEGAN DRAKE
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Have you ever felt like a mess? I don’t just mean a busy season where you neglect self-care to the point where you have used dry shampoo a little too often and your nails look like an unpolished disaster. I mean a mess in the emotional way. I feel like that right now. Writing has always helped me process things that are going on in my life, it helps me sort out what is going on and see what to make of it. A lot of times God speaks to me while I am writing, like my fingers will be tapping away on my out of date computer and all of the sudden I will reread what I wrote and think there is no way that I could have come up with that all on my own. So, because I am a mess, both in the emotional way and the dry shampoo way, I have decided to get back to writing it all down.

Tonight I gathered with some close friends and watched the Bronco game, and as the game was on I was chatting with my brothers fiancè and my self-appointed big brother’s wife. We were talking about life and what has been happening in our lives when I realized no matter what happens, no matter where I end up, God is in control. He is with me. He goes before me and stands in victory in every battle. I don’t always live with this mentality, especially right now during the mess and the unknown, but I want to live with this mentality. I want to live unapologetically following what The Lord has for my life even if it doesn’t make sense at the moment. Even if it means moving back to Colorado, moving back in with my parents.

To catch you up a bit, I just recently moved back from Ireland after being there a little over a year into my parents house in Colorado. I had always promised myself I would never move back in after I had left, and now, six years after leaving home for the first time, I find myself back here. I know that God has a plan for me, and I know that He is working everything for good, and orchestrating something so grand I can’t even imagine it at the moment. But, through this plan that God has for me, I have free will. Free will is such a weird thing because all too often, I find myself wanting God to tell me exactly where I am supposed to be, what I am supposed to do, who I am supposed to date. But it doesn’t work like that all of the time. God guides us through life, and He walks with us in our circumstances. Sometimes people hear directly from God what they are meant to do and where they are meant to go, but at the moment, I feel lost in it all, like God is giving me the freedom to choose what next steps I want to take.

I am so quick to forget that as long as I am seeking The Lord with all I am and want to glorify Him with my life, there is no way I can fall out of His will. This is the most comforting thing, but it can also be the most frustrating thing when all you want is to have a step by step guide to what is next. Like if you could have a glimpse into the future, maybe you wouldn’t be such a mess in the present. As much as I would like that, I don’t think that would clean up the mess. I have no idea where to go from here, what steps I need to take to replenish my bank account while still doing what I love. No idea how to be single in the sea of couples. No idea how to live back in the home I left. I have no idea.

But I think I have something that will help. I am going to embrace the mess. I am going to sit in the mess and be present in the stickiness of life. I am going to sit before The Lord everyday surrendering my mess to Him. Knowing that He cares about my mess, and in His eyes it is not as much of a mess as I make it out to be. And in His eyes, it is a beautiful mess.
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Before we part ways I just want to let those of you who are in a messy season know that it is ok to be a mess, to not have it all together, to still be figuring it out, to be using dry shampoo every day of the week. Whatever it is, God has it. He keeps it close and walks with you and goes before you all at the same time. Really this post is me just writing reminders to myself about how it is ok to be a mess, and this post itself is a little all over the place and a bit messy, but, let’s embrace the mess of life together and savor the sweet moments and be present in the now instead of always looking to the future.
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